Tuesday, May 17, 2011

OMG 45,000 Visitors and Counting! Also, Summer Sex Toy Must-Haves!

OMG people! In just over a year this blog has miraculously received more than 45,000 visitors. I've covered everything from hilarious abstinence PSAs to sex toy billboards in Dallas to what's wrong with Midland to racist anti-abortion billboards in Austin and had a blast doing it. I gave a lecture at Austin's Nerd Nite called "Steers, Queers and Sex Toys," which you can watch below.

I write about sex toys and porn a lot less than I did on This is Go-To Girl, but I figured y'all and I could use a break from the constant barrage of bad sex news out of Texas and focus on something guaranteed to please--my summer sex toy guide.

I've been reviewing sex toys and writing about sex toy safety for going on 5 years now and I'm continually stunned with the increasing quality of toys available. I can still remember when I bought a bright red jelly dildo at Babeland to use in workshops. Now everything sold by my go-to toy retailer is phthalate-free, and silicone is a must in most soft-texture dildos and vibrators. This is great news.

In 2006, when I started my first babyblog Ms. Go-To Girl, there was no Jimmyjane, no We-Vibe, no Sliquid Organics. Once there was only Aneros and now there are dozens of amazing prostate stimulators, including Lelo's Earl which is made of gold for chrissakes. We have all come so far and so very, very hard.

Here are my picks for 2011.

While I don't need or want this for myself (sorry, Dad!) I expect to buy several sets of the Sex and Pregnancy Kit for my friends who are in the family way. With a single PC muscle ball to help the vagina get strong for birth and the return to sex afterwards, lube, a small vibrator and a book focused on having an "Orgasmic Pregnancy" I think several people can expect to get these from me at baby showers this summer. (Hi, J & B!)

I'm very excited about the new Fun Factory G4 vibrators, especially the Big Boss, which closely resembles my Sinnflut. Rechargeable, waterproof, and perfect for size queens, the Boss features a finger hole at the end for easier maneuvering. A word of caution: at 9.75" long and 1.75" in diameter, this toy isn't for the faint of heart. A good lube is a must.

Which brings us to Sliquid Sassy Formula, designed especially for anal play. I love the word Sassy (Hi, Baby D!) and the bottle is super cute, so this is my hands-down favorite. It's vegan, glycerin- and paraben-free (Hi, L!) and gluten-free to boot. (Hi, J & M!) My only hesitation is that the bottle doesn't have a pump-top; fewer lubes seem to have them now than in past years.

While you've got that lube out, consider trying the Njoy Pure Plug, which I boosted in my talk at Nerd Nite. Available in three sizes, which I'll call "Ted Haggard," "Rick Perry" and "advanced," the Pure is gorgeous, solid stainless steel that can be warmed or cooled and is totally sterilizable and shareable. This product can be used to strengthen PC muscles in the vagina as well.

If you're in the market for porn, try Speed, which has an awesome cast and features condom use in every scene! Honorable mentions for the Crash Pad vol. 6 (I remember the first one way back when!) and Rough Sex 2 (not for the faint of heart).

By the way, May is Masturbation Month and this Saturday is the annual Masturbation-a-Thon in San Francisco so get busy!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Texas Aggie Conservatives Outraged that "Only One Perverse Sexual Worldview" Being Taught at A & M

I have never been to College Station. I don't know much about A & M. But the school has long been linked with the Chicken Ranch, the famous brothel profiled in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas so it's got something of a ... reputation. So color me shocked when the Texas Aggie Conservatives this week released a covert video taken during a presentation on "Safe and Fun Sex" by San Antonio sex therapist and educator Cay Crow.

The video, which is so amateurish that it never shows Cay at all and manages to only occasionally capture the extremely bland how-to anal sex video she played for the audience, features captions trumpeting the outrage that the University would sponsor an event teaching the how-to's of GAY SEX OMG.

Of course, this presentation is declared indicative of A & M's "funding bias." A link to the group's Facebook page invites visitors to:
Sign the petition against funding bias on our website to help us end Texas A&M University's one sided institutional support for the GLBT. Taxpayer dollars and student fees should not be used in a viewpoint discriminatory manner, promoting only one perverse sexual worldview.
All perverse sexual worldviews deserve equal state funding! Perhaps they could bring back the tradition of sending Aggie boys to brothels to "become men."

The About page of the TAC says "we are not affiliated with any other organization," but the Facebook page for Texas Aggie Conservaties reveals the source of their piss and vinegar and boilerplate conservative writing: they're affiliated with Campus Reform, which is the college organizing arm of the Leadership Institute, the arch-conservative training organization founded by Morton Blackwell.

In a New York Times article in 2001 about the Leadership Institute, Blackwell claimed that they did not teach "family values" in their training events, that that was "someone else's job."

"Someone" has done a great job of teaching those kids at A & M that it's just not fair that the University sponsors events to teach the how-to's of anal sex but not any other "perverse sexual worldviews." They obviously didn't realize that since everyone has a butt, anal sex is the least "viewpoint discriminatory" thing you can teach!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Happy Birthday to Rick Santorum!

If it weren't for NPR's daily "Happy Birthday to [insert marginally famous person]" announcements I would not have known that today was Rick Santorum's birthday. But now that I know, I thought it fitting to write a birthday post to honor the man who has tried so hard to make the sex lives of so many so miserable.

If you're new to Rick Santorum, the first thing to know is that he's a weird, super pro-life former Senator from Pennsylvania who spent the night cuddling with his dead son.

But in these modern times Google is the arbiter of the most important thing to know about a person, so we must share that several years ago Rick became famous for something entirely different. In an interview with USA Today, Santorum suggested that by overturning anti-sodomy laws [the decision that was later handed down, Lawrence v. Texas, did just that], the Supreme Court would be condoning incest, bigamy, and, most famously, "man-on-dog" sex.

In the same interview, Santorum expanded:
And if you make the case that if you can do whatever you want to do, as long as it's in the privacy of your own home, this "right to privacy," then why be surprised that people are doing things that are deviant within their own home? If you say, there is no deviant as long as it's private, as long as it's consensual, then don't be surprised what you get. You're going to get a lot of things that you're sending signals that as long as you do it privately and consensually, we don't really care what you do.
Nailed it, Rick! But wait, there's more:
This right to privacy that doesn't exist in my opinion in the United States Constitution, this right that was created, it was created in Griswold — Griswold was the contraceptive case — and abortion.
That's right: Santorum said on the record that he did not believe that the right to privacy exists in the Constitution. He went further to blame the Catholic church sex abuse scandals on the right to privacy, because liberals had damaged the so-called fabric of our society.

In retaliation, Dan Savage, hero of heroes, put out the call for sex-tolerant Americans to coin a new definition for "santorum" that would live in infamy and shame the Senator for his homophobic, hateful, and anti-sex ways. And how.

The first Google search result for "Rick Santorum" is not Facebook, a coy presidential "exploratory" site (#4), or a Wikipedia entry (#2); it is the page for Spreading Santorum, the front of which simply carries the word's jaw-droppingly gross definition:
"The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex."

Mr. Santorum, I can't think of a better birthday tribute than to remind Americans what you really stand for. And also to suggest you hire a search engine optimization expert, post fucking haste.