Thursday, December 23, 2010

Second Bad Texas High School Sports News Story of the Day

via the Houston Press. A high school softball player was outed to her mother by her coaches and then kicked off the team. Possibly because the player was dating an ex of one of the coaches. Girl and mother are suing the school district. For chrissakes Texas school districts, stop doing illegal shit to your female athletes!

Silsbee, Texas Cheerleader
Appealing to U.S. Supreme Court



Update on the case of a Silsbee, Texas cheerleader who was kicked off the team after refusing to participate in individual cheers for the basketball player who raped her. The girl took her high school to court and lost, and now she's appealing to the U.S. Supreme Court.

According to an article in the San Francisco Chronicle,
The case has drawn national attention since a federal appeals court in New Orleans ruled in September that the cheerleader was speaking for the school, not herself, and had no right to remain silent when called on to shout the athlete's name. Legal commentators said the ruling illustrated courts' increasingly restrictive view of free speech on campus.
How bad could the cheer have possibly been, you ask? Surely she couldn't object to something like, "Rakheem, Rakheem, you're so great, get that pitch over home plate?" (Okay, I know he was a basketball player and not a pitcher, but I'm not good at making up cheers) No, the cheer wasn't something innocuous at all. It was
2, 4, 6, 8, 10, come on, Rakheem, put it in
Not so hard to imagine now why the girl didn't want to participate.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Racist Anti-Abortion
Campaign Comes to Austin


"The most dangerous place for some children is in the womb."

The Majella Society, d/b/a Heroic Media, is Austin's own do-nothing anti-abortion propaganda provider and they're back in force with this new, racist billboard on I-35 south at 8th street near downtown. It appears that this billboard is part of a larger campaign targeting black women, like the one reported in Atlanta earlier this year, and this message represents an interesting change for Heroic, which has typically focused on "Pregnant? Scared?" messages.

Last year Majella ran the "I Am A Life" ad during the season premiere of CSI: Miami, which is a CBS show. RH Reality Check reported in February that the Atlanta billboards were owned by CBS Outdoor and that CBS, which broadcast the Superbowl this year, allowed the tacky Tim Tebow anti-abortion commercial paid for by Focus on the Family.

On the website mentioned in the billboard above, there are several videos, including the one below. While the video itself doesn't explicitly say that African American women are contributing to black genocide, the Youtube handle of the uploader is "PPAbortsAA." The video itself includes language like "baby daddy" and the woman and the child presented--who is not an infant--are both black. The rest of the ads on Dangerousplace.org feature non-white women and children, too.



The downloadable "fact sheet" is also clearly targeting black women, and includes several spurious "facts" about abortion among African Americans. The website also links from this factoid: "In 2007, one pro-choice organization made only 4,912 adoption referrals while performing 305,310 abortions" to PPAbortsAA.org, which has the below super-obvious image on the homepage.



The text on the homepage is below:
Planned Parenthood's actions are the ultimate exploitation of African American women and an assault on the dignity of life. Planned Parenthood founder Margaret Sanger had a plan. She wasn't interested in removing the cause of poverty, illiteracy, illegitimate births, or other social ills, she just wanted to eliminate the result, the pregnancy, ...the innocent life. She wanted to, "stop the reproduction of the unfit". Please help us, provide another voice for African Americans to listen to, to choose. A voice that encourages the heroic decision to become a mother.
And so on. But the curious thing is that, according to Statehealthfacts.org, black women in Texas account for a lower percentage of abortions in the state (23.2%) as compared to the national proportion (35%), and this Guttmacher report shows that black Texas teens have an abortion rate less than half (20) that of the national rate of 44. This may be more of an indication of how hard it is to get abortions in Texas, but regardless, there is not a "black abortion epidemic" in Texas.

So why Austin? The Census Bureau shows only 8% of the population here is black, as compared to 18% in Houston and 20% in Dallas. My money is on the Legislative session, which convenes on January 11th. The billboard's proximity to the capitol suggests the target of these ads may not be black women at all, but those in power who have the ability to make abortion that much harder to get for all women.

Monday, December 20, 2010

How to Talk Dirty Part 2:
Opening Your Mouth


image from my great pals at Where is Your Line

"How do I talk dirty?" is a something every sex expert gets asked all the time. It's one of those questions that is easily answered--when in doubt, just narrate!--but people are so nervous about what they sound like during sex that they want to find a script they can memorize that will provide a Guaranteed Hot Sexy Time. But the thing is, everybody feels differently about how a hookup should sound: some people want a play-by-play, some want to be bossed around, and others prefer a kind of hot, tense silence. I think humans can generally be divided into three broad categories: breathers, moaners, and talkers.

Breathers might not make much noise but will breathe in ways that, if interpreted correctly, are totally hot. Especially if they're breathing heavily in your ear while sucking on your earlobe. Or whatever.

Moaners moan without having to try; they get hit in the right spot or licked in the right way and they can't not make noise.

Talkers can be good talkers or bad talkers. Good talkers say things that are hot and make you feel good; bad talkers make inappropriate comments and kill the mood.

Becoming a Moaner

If you're shy or just naturally quiet during sex, don't fake moaning; just try to identify the times and feelings that elicit heavy breathing and try to add a little bit of a moan to the mix. Eventually, moans will come to you naturally. But don't overdo it: not everything should make you moan like you're about to come. The person pleasing you wants to earn those sounds. There's nothing worse than hearing someone howl repeatedly like the star of "Cum Guzzling Cheerleaders Part 7."

If you're such a moaner that you do really sound like a pornstar, try gagging yourself or putting a pillow over your face. It will be that much hotter when you can moan again.

Talking Dirty to Get Consent

One of the most vexing issues around consent is that everyone assumes it's a total boner-killer to stop, negotiate, agree to Sex Acts A and B but not C, and recommence where you left off. But getting consent can easily be worked into your sexy talk. If you want to give consent, few things are hotter to a partner than hearing you say, "I want you to ____ me." And if you want to ask for consent, say, "I really want to ____ you. Is that okay?" wait for them to say "yes," and, voila! You have consent.

How to Talk

Talking dirty, for those to whom it doesn't come naturally, is an art form that can take an average sexual experience all the way to awesome. If your partner asks you to talk dirty to them, here are a few places to start:

"I can't wait to ____ you"
"Your ____ feels so fucking good"
"I love it when you ____ me"
"Your ____ gets so ____ when I ____ it"
"Your ____ is going to make me come"

What Not to Say

Some people are Directors and want to be in charge and running the show during sex. I would encourage you--particularly men--to use caution before being too bossy. For some women, hearing something that sounds word for word like what guys say in porn movies can be a turnoff, triggering*, or both. There is a world of difference between talking about the shared experience you're having with a partner ("It's so hot when you suck my cock") and making a partner feel like they're at the service of your sexual pleasure alone ("Suck my cock, yeah you love it you little slut, don't you?").

Dos and Don'ts

  • Do: the first time you hook up with someone, you should tell them they're beautiful/so fucking hot/gorgeous. Doing this a) makes clear to your partner that you think they're so fucking hot and b) is just good policy.
  • Do: Get--and give--consent. "I want you to ___ me" is one of the hottest things a person can hear.
  • Don't: Use porn-tastic language without clearing it with your partner first. Some women are going to be super turned on by hearing "Yeah, take my big cock you little whore" but others are going to reel back and punch you in the face. So ask.
  • Do: Ask for what you want. If it really turns you on to be called "Daddy," or "Kitten" or "Boy Scout" or whatever, say so.
  • Don't: Bite your tongue out of nervousness. Whatever sound you make, if genuine, will be hot.
  • Do: Give praise. "Yeah, that feels so fucking good" is a great thing to say under any circumstances and doesn't force you to say words that might be hard to say at first, like "pussy" or "cock."
  • Don't: Say the same thing every time. Your partner will remember if you said "I love it when your ____ gets tight when I ____ you" the last ten times you ____ed them.

I love it when you ____ my ____,
Julie Sunday


*A trigger is something that sets off a memory tape or flashback transporting the person back to the event of her/his original trauma.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Friday, December 17, 2010

He Comes Last: Ian Kerner Discovers Raunch Culture 5 Years Late


Kerner: I'll make you come first, OR ELSE

If you've read "She Comes First" and "He Comes Next" you're well aware of the cringeworthy, self-hating* tone of Dr. Kerner's creepy female-worshipping works. To be clear, I'm not opposed to his core idea that women should come first, but Kerner makes clear that he wants to prioritize female pleasure to compensate for that facet of masculinity that can be, shall we say, uncooperative. All the pussy-eating in the world won't distract her forever from the fact that your dick won't get hard, buddy. Sorry.

So in his phoned-it-in blog post for CNN's The Chart Kerner has apparently taken his face out of the vag long enough to notice American "raunch culture." Kerner is Very Concerned:
In the age of Snooki, "Girls Gone Wild," and Tila Tequila, where on Earth is a young woman supposed to find positive female role models? And how are our boys going to grow up to respect female sexuality when the girls themselves seem to be throwing all sexual caution to the wind? From sexting to the mainstreaming of amateur pornography, a new culture of raunchiness has emerged, one in which women aren’t just participating—they’re often taking the lead.

Hear that ladies? Don't expect respect when women who aren't you are captured on video doing things they probably didn't want to do anyway. Apparently the apex of raunch culture is creating a perpetually throbbing hard-on in our nation's young men rendering them completely incapable of respecting women. And you know what ladies? It's all your fault.

Except Kerner has kind of missed the boat: the peak of raunchy public female sexuality that Ariel Levy wrote about in "Female Chauvinist Pigs" in 2006 has actually kindof passed. Joe Francis got married, Tila Tequila is adopting a baby and Jenna Jameson isn't even doing porn anymore. JWOWW's decidedly raunch fashion line, "Filthy Couture," never even shipped.**

What Kerner doesn't seem to realize is that Snooki and the Jersey Shore team are parodies of a raunch culture now so passe the only place those so five minutes ago Ed Hardy fashions can be worn is in an imaginary, retrograde South Jersey fantasyland. Bad for MTV, good for the rest of us.

And Kerner might take notice that two women were this close to the Oval Office two years ago and are in awesome or terrifying positions of power right now. Obviously heralding feminist achievement doesn't get CNN pageviews but Kerner ought to take his face out of the muff long enough to take notice of Hillary, Sarah, Nancy, Tina Fey, and any number of the tons of awesome female role models out there. Are there enough women in positions of real power? Of course not. But there are more than enough to provide real alternatives to parents who feel overwhelmed by the Snookis and Tila Tequilas of the world.










*"He Comes Next" doesn't even appear on Kerner's own website listing of books he's written. This guy really, really doesn't think you deserve blow jobs, guys.





**the link http://filthycouture.com/ automatically redirects to http://jwoww.com/ now.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Anti-Gift Guide: Tajazzle

Via Gawker.


Do you need a 3 step system (a $200 value) to make your vagina even remotely palatable to your greaseball boyfriend? Are you sure he isn't gay? Well, if you insist, I guess you could think about using Tajazzle, the knockoff, downscale, Jersey Shore version of LA "sensation" Vajazzling. It's the Ultimate in Personal Confidence!

But if you buy the Tajazzle sensational confidence-building system you won't have only a vagina with a cheap rhinestone tattoo, you'll also get some "powder" made with the "finest, all-natural ingredients" to "keep you dry when it gets hot." (I hate to be a curmudgeon here, but isn't being wet when things "get hot" sort of the point?) You also get Tajazzle Flavor roll-on, which I'm guessing are upcycled leftover roll-on lip glosses from the 1980s. If you order now you'll get raspberry and honey flavors to roll on all your...private areas. So...um...delicious sounding.

You can "live your fantasy as a Radiant Goddess" with Tajazzle and, I'm not making this up, "Put some bling in your fling." As they say, "It's totally empowering to be wearing so little and still have something very secret only someone special can see."

I think we clearly need to add "Tajazzle" to our lexicon. Anyone have suggestions for what the word should mean? Leave them in the comments.

Can't get enough of the horrible infomercial? Watch part 2!