Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Anti-Gift Guide: Tajazzle

Via Gawker.


Do you need a 3 step system (a $200 value) to make your vagina even remotely palatable to your greaseball boyfriend? Are you sure he isn't gay? Well, if you insist, I guess you could think about using Tajazzle, the knockoff, downscale, Jersey Shore version of LA "sensation" Vajazzling. It's the Ultimate in Personal Confidence!

But if you buy the Tajazzle sensational confidence-building system you won't have only a vagina with a cheap rhinestone tattoo, you'll also get some "powder" made with the "finest, all-natural ingredients" to "keep you dry when it gets hot." (I hate to be a curmudgeon here, but isn't being wet when things "get hot" sort of the point?) You also get Tajazzle Flavor roll-on, which I'm guessing are upcycled leftover roll-on lip glosses from the 1980s. If you order now you'll get raspberry and honey flavors to roll on all your...private areas. So...um...delicious sounding.

You can "live your fantasy as a Radiant Goddess" with Tajazzle and, I'm not making this up, "Put some bling in your fling." As they say, "It's totally empowering to be wearing so little and still have something very secret only someone special can see."

I think we clearly need to add "Tajazzle" to our lexicon. Anyone have suggestions for what the word should mean? Leave them in the comments.

Can't get enough of the horrible infomercial? Watch part 2!

3 comments:

  1. I don't even have to watch. I'm taking your word on this one. - @justcallmethor

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  2. I just don't understand how tacky rhinestone tattoos that were popular in 1999 give you confidence?

    Or are they hinting at putting the rhinestones on your 'tang? Because, weird.

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  3. "And I even TASTE good too!"

    Not sure what the status of my personal confidence would be when "my lover" confronted me about why I put lip gloss on my snatch

    -Natalie

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