The Texas Primaries: All Roads Lead to Douchetown

The Texas Primaries: Queerer than a... ROT $3 bill?

The Austin-American Statesman reported Sunday that both major Republican candidates for guv'na in Texas, epic asshat Rick Perry and "I am pro-life, I de-clayire!" Kay Bailey Hutchison, attended a fundraiser for the Prestonwood [crisis] Pregnancy Center in Dallas yesterday honoring the decade's finest Texas douchebag, George W. Bush.

According to an outline of his remarks provided before the benefit, Perry said, "I feel like I am in the garrison of an army that has devoted itself to the defense of the unborn."

His remarks also thanked Bush. "There is no way to tell how many lives were protected by your fearless pro-life efforts," Perry's speech said.

Hmm...is that army also prepared to, I dunno, secede from the United States, Governor Perry? And equal time for Hutchison, who went to services yesterday at Lakewood with my secret church crush Joel Osteen:

Hutchison has voiced support for Roe v. Wade, but she has sought to find common ground with its opponents in other ways.

In a mailing she sent to some voters, Hutchison touted her high lifetime rating from National Right to Life and votes against federal funding of abortion and against the late-term procedure known as partial-birth abortion.

The primary is officially tomorrow (Texas Independence Day!) so it's your last chance to vote for KBH and ruin Perry's chances of further fucking up Texas.