Austin Pregnancy Resource Center Fails to Comply with City Signage Ordinance

The Austin Pregnancy Resource Center from the sidewalk on Rio Grande

In early April of this year the Austin City Council followed Baltimore's example and passed an ordinance requiring crisis pregnancy centers that do not provide abortion or birth control (or referrals to providers who do) to post signs making that clear to potential "clients."

CPCs in Texas receive both federal and state funding for the non-services they provide, so Austin putting them under the magnifying glass is a powerful statement, even if the penalty is a mere $450 and a Class C misdemeanor.

One of the CPCs, Austin Pregnancy Resource Center, is conveniently located right in West Campus, in the midst of most of the fraternity and sorority housing near the University of Texas at Austin.

The ordinance was passed on April 8 and the text, which was obtained by the Austin Chronicle, is below:

The owner or operator of a limited service pregnancy center shall prominently display, at the entrance of the Center, two black and white signs, one in English and one in Spanish, that state as follows: "(A)This Center does not provide abortions or refer to abortion providers. This Center does not provide or refer to providers of U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved birth control drugs and medical devices. (B) Each sign must be at least eight and one-half inches by eleven inches high and the text must be in a font size of at least 48 point."

As of July 30, APRC failed to display any signage in compliance with the ordinance. See the photos of the "client" entrance below, both close-up and from the street.


From the entry walk on Rio Grande

From the front steps

Front door signs, in English only: "Door bell does not work. Please come in." and "Hours of Operation. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, 9:00 am - 5:00 pm. Thursday and Friday, 10:00 am- 3:00 pm. Saturday 10:00 am - 2:00 pm. (Closed Sunday)"

The APRC puts up flyers on campus and must have supporters in high places in order to maintain its high-rent location. A misdemeanor and $450 probably won't set them back much, but the law is the law. But why not write City Councilman Bill Spelman, who sponsored the bill, and let him know you want this law enforced?

Surprisingly Good Sex Advice from the Scariest People in Zilker Park

These two kids probably met at church.

Juggalos and Juggalettes, those terrifyingly painted clowns that haunt the parking lots of Zilker Park and are devotees of the band that time forgot, Insane Clown Posse, are the guest advice-givers for Nerve.com's sex advice column this week. For as completely fucking frightening as these kids look they are actually really reasonable.

Dirty Byrd, 25, offered the following:

I was really into this girl. Recently, I looked through her iPod and noticed it was nothing but Ke$ha and Lady Gaga. Is "terrible taste" an okay reason to break things off?

No. But it’s a good reason to just make fun of them.

My girlfriend hooked up with one of her girlfriends and I got mad. She said it didn’t count as cheating, but I’m pissed. Isn’t it cheating no matter who it’s with?

I guess if it was a drunken bar night, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. Girls do stuff like that, you know. But if you come home and they’re all over each other on the couch, you’d probably be within your rights to get a little pissed. If they ask you join in, that could be another story, I guess. But I’m not too into lesbians to tell you the truth, so I’d probably be a little angry.

Way to go, Dirty Byrd! Read more at Nerve.com and learn more about the shocking reality of Juggalos here.

Q: Why Isn't Grindr for Straight People? A: AFK, BBS, SWF L4 NSA GFE

Isn't this helpful?

Dear Julie,

I recently heard about an iPhone app called Grindr, which lets men who want to hook up find each other based on their GPS coordinates. First of all, awesome. Second of all, how come straight people don't have something like that? How sweet would it be to just be able to find a girl within 500 yards of my location and have sex? Can you help?

J/O Enthusiast (jk),

Edward

Dear Edward,

From what I hear, Austin's online hook up scene for straight people is dominated by craigslist and, to a lesser extent, OKCupid and that there's no Grindr-like option for us breeders. But the problem with all of those sites is that it takes longer and more effort to create a profile than it does to just, say, go to a bar and make oneself available for sex.

The downside, for straight men anyway, is that men's sex has no value, so you can't just go to a bar with a t-shirt that says "I give great head" and expect that a girl is going to a) take you seriously and b) go home with you. Part of the reason for that is women don't want to "sell" to someone who clearly doesn't have the social capital to find and "buy" from a willing woman. I've [ahem] heard from guys that all a girl has to do is say, "Hey, want to have sex?" and the deal is sealed, so to speak. But if a guy does the same he's liable to get slapped in the face.

So what's a technology-addled guy to do? First, stop checking in FourSquare, stop Tweeting, and put your iPhone down. You have a couple of options and none of them involve thumbing those dumb "Hey, how you doin?" texts late at night.

First, if you haven't totally ruled out guys, why not sign up for Grindr and see how unbelievably easy it is to get laid outside a system that punishes women for having casual sex? Women generally don't go in for anonymous, casual sex because their "value" declines if they sell at too low a "price." (Reminder: Men's sex has no value, so they can sell at whatever price they want and it doesn't have any bearing on their overall social standing.)

If same sex behavior is totally out, you can always try craigslist. Again and again and again. But from what I hear, most of the women who populate the "Casual Encounters" section in Austin are actually sex workers. So try the "Women Seeking Men" section instead. You might find someone to have sex with you after exchanging 75 emails with pictures, references, work history, etc.

If that doesn't work you might take your search offline to bars, clubs, the gym, or the rollerskating rink. (Well, that last one is just if you want to meet me.) The men who are most likely to succeed are smart enough to meet girls at places where their guard is down and they're not steeling themselves to get hit on by every horny douchebag that walks in the door. Try church. Or a bowling alley. Or, again, the rollerskating rink. Have a gay friend? Get him to take you dancing at a gay bar--those places are crawling with straight women looking to avoid the meat-market atmosphere.

Unfortunately there aren't straight bath houses, straight glory holes, straight cruising areas, and so on. Not because women wouldn't like to have anonymous sex--but because they can't due to the social consequences of "selling" at too low a price. Don't like it? The patriarchy isn't fair to men, either.

Much Love,

Julie Sunday

Got Questions? Ask the Patriarchy!

Have you ever found yourself in a conversation where the amorphous concept of "the patriarchy" came up and you weren't quite sure you knew what it meant? Well wonder no more. Friend of Julie Sunday and former Austinite Marc of Pandagon has started a new video channel and Formspring feature called "Ask the Patriarchy" and it is hilarious.

He breaks it down thusly:

Are you white, straight, packing a baby cannon--that works--and of the firm belief that the Lord Jesus Christ delivered us the Second Amendment when he descended from Mount Testosterone? Then you are in the right place.

The first video is about whether caring about the BP oil spill makes a guy a pussy. Short answer: yes. Oh, and by the way: it's okay to masturbate on the subway. As long as she's hot.

Dancer Charged with Manslaughter for Strip Club Fight. Also, Male Strip Club Open in Austin!

LaBare: It's the "Ultimate"!

According to the Statesman, a dancer at LaBare, Austin's only "All-Male Review [sic]" has been charged with manslaughter after he hit a club guest, Kelvin Monroe, who later died.

In other news, there's an all-male revue in Austin! And it's just up the street from my house!

But back to the story. The dancer accused of manslaughter, Maurice McKnight, aka "Moon," doesn't appear on the list of dancers on the website, many of whom look buff and strong enough to kill a dude by "hit[ting] Monroe in the face with an open hand because Monroe had been harassing several of his friends at the male strip club that night, the affidavit said."

The investigation also reveals they have a dancer in chaps!

Anyone who has information on the story is encouraged to call the Austin Police Department. Officials will stay hard on the case and will be deeply investigating the matter. The police ask that anyone with personal knowledge of the incident call the homicide tip line at 477-3588.

Also, admission is free before 8pm on Fridays and Saturdays!

Anti-Gay Texas Republicans to Join George Rekers Outside the Closet

Woah. Via the Bilerico Project, the Texas GOP is going completely insane. A copy of their platform is apparently floating around the interwebs and they're so busy making sure every little teeny facet of gay life regulated and punished that it's amazing they have time for the really important stuff, like keeping the gun show loophole open and executing mentally retarded inmates.

But thisee here is my favorite part:

We believe that the practice of homosexuality tears at the fabric of society, contributes to the breakdown of the family unit, and leads to the spread of dangerous, communicable diseases.

You know what else contributes to the breakdown of the family unit and spread "dangerous, communicable diseases" (read: STIs)? Heterosexuals. Since you have to be married in order to divorce, we can't go blaming the queers for the breakdown of the family. And anyway, should gay people just be like George Rekers and stay in the closet and hire "baggage handlers" from time to time?

Okay, Rick Perry, I get it. Escalating anti-gay extremism on the part of a public figure usually precedes the accidental exposure of the fact that the figure is, in fact, totally gay. Somebody ought to be checking the parking lot at the Midtown Spa...

FDA Deprioritizes Women's Sexual Dysfunction, Again: Flibby is a No-Go

The helpful educational website funded by Boehringer

An FDA advisory panel voted unanimously Friday not to approve Flibanserin, a drug aimed to remedy "hypoactive sexual desire" in pre-menopausal women. This drug has been in clinical trials for a while so we've heard about their poor measures before: the researchers found that women taking the drug reported .8 more "sexually satisfying events" per month than those on placebo (though the placebo users also had an increase in "events") and the difference was statistically significant.

What they failed to show was an increase in desire. They also didn't explain what "sexually satisfying event" meant. But none of the flaws in the research design kept the manufacturer, a German company named Boehringer Ingelheim Pharmaceuticals, from developing a media blast and securing Lisa Rinna, the generously lipped former soap star, as their shiller.

Let me repeat that: this company began advertising the disorder it purports to treat before their drug was approved. Now that the drug has been formally rejected it will be interesting to see how long the website, SexBrainBody, stays up. The site is formally under the guise of the Society for Women's Health Research but surely the grant won't go on forever now that the drug is a no-go.

Of course there is a connection between sex, the brain, and the body. But that framework excludes another important reason women might experience low sexual desire: a shitty relationship. One may feel sexual desire in general, but not for one's long term partner in particular. Such decline is a well documented feature of even the healthiest of marriages. But to pathologize such a problem recalls the days when a husband could present his wife to a physician for being refusing to perform sexually and expect a diagnosis of "frigidity."

But on the other hand, the reason given for rejecting the pill, that its "risks" did not justify the use, seem a bit thin: the side effects include dizziness, nausea, and fatigue. While I'm no advocate of medicalization, drugs for women's sexual dysfunction have repeatedly failed to pass muster with the FDA, sometimes for bullshit reasons. Considering that Viagra increases the risk of cardiac arrest--a leading cause of death for men in the silver fox age group--dizziness, nausea, and fatigue sound pretty mild.

Everyone knows that many men take Viagra, Cialis and Levitra as "enhancements" and not because they have clinical erectile dysfunction, and women ought to have their own fair share of drugs to enhance their sexual experience, either on the front end of desire or the back end of response. The FDA's continued refusal to approve testosterone and other sex enhancing drugs for women suggests a fear of women's sexuality, not agreement with anti-medicalization sentiment.