Pregnant? Scared? Call Me in 2028

Dear Texas,

See how scary teen pregnancy is? It's like Texas Chainsaw Massacre. But it lasts for 18 YEARS.

Love,

Julie

(The above PSA is from the totally legit Milwaukee-area organization Baby Can Wait which is a program of the United Way of Greater Milwaukee. Their PSA is terrifying but the website is full of actual real information and even provides links to stuff teenager actually need--like legitimate health service providers.)

Your Girlfriend's First Vibrator

The Babeland Silver Bullet

Hey Julie,

I am having a bit of a dilemma. The girl that I am currently with wants to get a vibrator. I am supportive of the idea but I have some concerns, mostly with the size of the toy. I am worried that if the toy is large it will change the quality of the sex on my side especially because she is a rather small girl.

The purpose of the toy would not be for everyday use but more for those "I need it now" moments. Do you have any recommendations on toys that will provide her with what she is looking for with out causing a noticeable change for me?

Thanks,
Tyler

Hi Tyler-

The "will my girlfriend's vibrator make my dick seem like a baby carrot?" question comes up a lot, and I promise you that no guy I've ever heard of has actually been replaced by a sex toy. Penises don't vibrate, it's true, but vibrators don't have boyfriends attached to them. So don't worry about her preferring her new gadget to yours.

That said, your concern about whether the toy's size will change sex for you (presumably because a big toy could stretch her out) is valid. And no, it won't. Remember, vaginas are designed to accommodate human babies, and not even the most epic size queen wants a sex toy that big.

You don't say if your girlfriend wants a vibrator to use during sex or if she wants one to use when you're not around, but I think a great introductory toy is the bullet. They come in all kinds of varieties, but the basic Silver Bullet costs $15, takes 2 AA batteries, and is perfect for handheld clitoral stimulation either alone or with a partner.


The new Sqweel from Babeland

If your girlfriend is after a totally different form of stimulation, the Sqweel is brand new from Babeland. It's a handheld "wheel" made up of little tongues to simulate oral sex. Probably a little awkward to use during sex but great for those "I need it now" moments she's having. At $59, Sqweel is an affordable way to get a totally novel form of pleasure.


The Delight from Fun Factory

For penetration, the Delight provides vibration, silicone texture, and G-spot stimulation. Plus it's really pretty. Oh, and it's rechargeable, which means there won't be any "I need it now...but I'm all out of batteries" moments. On sale for $99 at Babeland, Delight is pricey for a first timer but Fun Factory toys are high quality and Delight is a great investment. Not having to buy batteries will totally make it pay for itself.

Good luck!
Julie

PS-This is just a little aside to all the guys out there who have this concern: everyone, even your girlfriend, has the right to a solo sex life. For the vast majority of people, masturbation is a completely distinct form of pleasure that won't reduce their desire for their partner. Women who masturbate frequently have been shown to have more orgasms, want sex more with their partners, and be more in touch with what works for them sexually, all of which are good for you, the boyfriend. So everybody wins. That said, if your girlfriend (or wife, or whatever) wants to get a vibrator, it's not really any of your business. Unless you're buying, I'd advise you to sit back and enjoy the ride.

Past Due: Time to Repeal the Hyde Amendment

Check out this video from my pals over at the Center for Reproductive Rights that highlights famous progressive bloggers talking about what they would decline to spend their tax dollars on. Texans, what do you not want your tax dollars spent on?



You can learn more about how the Hyde Amendment has been fucking poor women for more than 30 years here.

Pre-K Student Kicked Out of School in Texas For Being a Longhair

A 4 year old pre-K student in Mesquite, Texas has been suspended from his class because he refuses to cut his hair. Via the Dallas Morning News:

A day after Taylor's parents and Mesquite school district officials failed to reach an agreement about the boy's hair, officials sent a letter saying he would be moved to in-school suspension next week if he does not conform with the district's dress code.
Instead of working one-on-one with a teacher's aide in the library, Taylor would work by himself at a desk in the Floyd Elementary School office, said district spokeswoman Laura Jobe. "There would be people checking on him from time to time, but it wouldn't be the same attention he has now," Jobe said.

No, really.

Photo via the Dallas Morning News.

OMFG Toto, We're Not in Texas Anymore: Christmas at Good Vibrations

So I'm on vacation in California and will later travel to the East Coast to see my people in DC, Philadelphia, and NYC.

The first destination on my whistle-stop tour of America's most unabashedly liberal locales was, appropriately, a weekend in Berkeley and San Francisco. I always go to whatever feminist sex toy store happens to be in the city I'm visiting so I can see what drool-inducing new toys are out there but also to just be around other sex positive people. In the Bay Area the big player is Good Vibrations, which has locations in Berkeley and San Francisco.

Good Vibes has a great online presence and even publishes its own web magazine that highlights, among other things, famous sex educators like yours truly. I usually visit the Mission store, because it's in the Mission and I like to go there--what could be better than sex toys and tacos, all in the same neighborhood? You'd think, living in Austin, Texas, I'd be able to have such an afternoon in my own town but, alas, I cannot.

I thought I'd share a couple of the totally awesome things I found at Good Vibes that I've never seen before and that I'm either lusting after or highly recommending. First up is the La Femme Harness, pictured above. The photo doesn't do it justice--the edges, ruffled leather, are highlighted by pink zippers. At $169, this is not a beginner's harness but for those experienced players interested in a femmey strap-on, this beauty is a must-have.

I also found the most adorable hand restraints ever, Bound Bliss, pictured at right. The part that goes around the wrists is leather and closes with a heart-shaped padlock, and the bow is real patent leather. Also available in red patent leather (!) these are a bargain at $65. Hint, hint.



Lelo's Ina, at left, was part of my gift guide but I actually got to feel it in my own hands at Good Vibes and I can confidently say that this thing is fucking awesome. If you have a Rabbit now, throw it in the garbage and get this younger, firmer, hotter model. Seriously. It's rechargeable, silicone, and I love that it doesn't have any annoying animal features. This is a grown up vibrator.


One thing Good Vibes does have that I don't see when I go to Babeland is an unparallelled selection of queer and genderfuck porn. They have the whole Crash Pad series, everything out there in TrannyFag world and and more (I know they have Buck Angel titles in the store, but I couldn't find any on the website). They offer Video on Demand, too, so you don't have to live in the Mission to get your fill. Fluid, at right, is one of Crash Pad veteran Madison Young's directorial flicks.

If you're in the Bay Area, I highly recommend a side trip to one of the Good Vibes locations. The stores are clean, welcoming to people of all genders, orientations, sizes, colors, what have you, and their selection of toys is top notch. They carry more "novelties" than I care for (really, must I be forced to browse butt plugs with college kids giggling over penis birthday candles?) but I confess to lusting after more than one three digit toy of the kind I just can't see up close and personal in Austin.





You can read my other gift recommendations here, at my Holiday Gift and Regift Guide.

We're Taking Callers Now...

How to Have Sex In Texas is a sex advice podcast hosted by Austin sex educators Julie Sunday and Brianna Morgan. To record a question, call our voice mail at 206-350-6649*.

We cover the following topics:

• "How do I tell the person doin' X that I want Y?" (have better sex)
• "What the fuck is going on down there?!?" (STIs/STDs)
• "Pregnant? Scared? No? Want us to scare you?" (pregnancy scares/birth control)
• "Should we break up?" (relationships)
• "I'm allergic to the leather softener on my boyfriend's chaps" (uniquely Texan)
• "Can I use an electric fly swatter for spanking?" [yes] (kink concerns)

And whatever else Texans are doing.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Have_Sex_in_Texas








*We really are in Texas, promise. The free voice mail service only gives numbers with Seattle area codes.