So tonight I went to the grocery store and, as I always do, stopped by the condom section to see what's tricks. Tonight the college kids who must think I'm a total slut (because looking at condoms means you're DTF, obvs) got a show because I saw a new Trojan product and loudly said, 'WHAAATT?' as I picked up the new Armor condoms off the shelf.
After the incredible success of the Bareskin which is literally the first Trojan condom we've reviewed positively ever here on How to Have Sex in Texas (nee This Is Go-To Girl), Trojan has come out with a rebranding of condoms lubricated with Nonoxynol-9 under the label "Armor."
Known to every breathing sex educator on the planet, the use of Nonoyxnol-9 has been explicitly discouraged by the CDC since 2002. In 2007 the FDA released a final rule requiring extensive "SRSLY THESE PRODUCTS DO NOT PROTECT AGAINST STDS" labeling for over-the-counter products containing N-9, which includes spermicide inserts, gels, foams, and suppositories.
In a 2005 report the Guttmacher Institute specifically called out Trojan in a report on the controversy relating to N-9 in condoms, and the company stood by its decision to continue to make them even though the World Health Organization and the CDC had concluded that "condoms lubricated with a small amount of N-9 are no more effective in preventing pregnancy than are lubricated condoms without N-9."*
But leave it to the marketing geniuses at Church & Dwight to figure out how to make a product that irritates genital skin, smells like bleach, is no more effective at preventing pregnancy and increases the risk of STIs totally bro-tastic.
Magnum, Trojan's larger size condom, has never been available with a spermicide lubricant so I guess this is a win for the "HEY LOOK I HAVE A HUGE DICK!" guys out there.
For the record: condoms lubricated with spermicide are not more effective at preventing pregnancy than condoms without. So the "armor" you're putting on your penis is actually that paper bag thick Trojan condom itself, not the spermicide--that's just a smelly, noxious chemical bonus. If you like the idea of smelling chemicals with your condoms, why not try the Fire & Ice?
Look, dude, I get it: you really, really do not want to get that girl pregnant. I feel you, I really do, and I'm pumped that you want to use condoms at all. But seriously bro, do yourself a favor and skip the spermbrocide.
*Boonstra, Heather. "Condoms, Contraceptives and Nonoxynol-9: Complex Issues Obscured by Ideology." The Guttmacher Report on Public Policy. May 2005.