Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Shopping for Vibrators in Clarendon


Occasionally I'm out with friends on a Saturday night at a douchey, post-UVA bar like, say, Spider Kelly's in Clarendon, and I get an urgent "Can u help me pick a vibrator???!??" text (Hi, R!). As a totally committed sex educator, I always try to help a friend in distress, so I responded first with "Ina!!" [at left] because that's the vibrator I would buy if I were in the market for a dual-action product that costs more than $150. But I'm not and I'm on the "Going to Thailand in 2 Months" austerity plan, so I had to do some research to help my friend sort through the plentiful Rabbit-style options and find a vibe that would work.

My friend was rebuffed by the staff at Good Vibrations when she said she wanted something that provided both clitoral and internal stimulation but didn't have "antennae" and she turned to me for help finding a vibrator that didn't also look like a gentle meadow creature. Of course, I'm a Babeland gal, so I went to their site to see what's new in the dual-action category.

The two main design features I pay attention to in looking for dual-action vibrators are the curve of the larger, internal piece and the angle between the two vibrators. Internal toys that have a dramatic angle (like the Mustang from Vixen) are good for people whose G-Spots are harder to reach; if you or your partner have to dramatically curve your fingers in that "come here" motion to get that powerful sensation, a toy with an obvious curve will be much better than one that is more straight. For people who don't need that "come here" motion, a straighter shaft toy like the Bandit will do the trick. Second, the angle between the two pieces should be very narrow if your vaginal opening and clitoris are close together; if they are farther apart, a larger angle is okay. If the small, external piece (the "rabbit") is too far away, you'll have to hold it against your clit with your other hand, which could get tiring after awhile.

Of course, the Ina is where I went first. Made by Lelo, this product is gorgeous, rechargeable, mostly waterproof, and has no irritating animal characteristics. The angle between the larger bulb (for internal stimulation) and the smaller, clitoral vibrator is pretty tight, which is good for people whose vagina and clitoris are close together. Also, the internal piece is more "bulb" shaped, which is good for a feeling of fullness as opposed to an in-and-out motion. The Ina has been on my Christmas list since 2009. Santa, are you listening? $159.

Next up was Soraya [at right], also by Lelo, but with a very different design and significantly different angle between the two arms. Soraya comes in purple and black and is freaking gorgeous. The hole in the base is to slip your fingers through for a more secure grip [coughlubehandscough]. The clitoral piece is flexible, so you can apply it where you want it, but that also means your fingers could get tired from holding it in place. Big ups to Soraya for being completely waterproof which means easy cleaning. Soraya made the How to Have Sex in Texas 2010 gift guide. $199.

The last vibe I checked out is the Happiness & Joy, which, like the Ina, is rechargeable and splashproof. This toy is part of a brand new joint venture, Bedroom Kandi, between Kandi Buress, one of the Real Housewives of Atlanta and OhMiBod. OhMiBod's vibrators sync up the vibration of your toy with music from your iPod, which obviously means that you would have to download a bunch of R. Kelly albums immediately after purchase. The internal arm isn't angled very dramatically, which could make G-Spot stimulation more difficult for some women. More on H & J [haha] below. $129.



Of course any real habitues of Clarendon know that you can't shop for vibrators there, at least not yet. I'm taking applications for investors in Arlington's first full-service sex toy store. Holler!

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