Friday, August 26, 2011

Still-Not-Available-In-Texas Review:
Trojan Triphoria

I don't do reviews much anymore because the biz of sex toy reviews has grown by leaps and bounds since my days back at; you can read dozens of user-generated reviews of almost any toy on Babeland's website and find out if the size, shape, and noise of a given product meets your specifications. Also, there comes a point when a girl just doesn't really need any more sex toys.

But the best review I saw of the Trojan Triphoria (which I mocked when it first came out last year) included lots of interesting history of the Big Two (SSL, former maker of Durex, and Church & Dwight, parent of Trojan) and their forays into the sex toy market. But the writer was a man who, if he used it with/on a female partner, didn't say anything about the clitoral stimulation the toy is designed to Blow One's Hair Back with.

So, I wrote to Babeland and asked if they'd send me one. And they did! I came back from my long summer vacation (during which I totally went to Babeland in NYC, obvs) to a surprise package.

Trojan does one thing impeccably well--they find out what their customer wants and they deliver it, inside and out. Triphoria's package is gorgeous. So shiny! So purple! No porno chicks! They even include the single AA battery you need so the first-time vibrator-using gal doesn't have to go through the embarrassing experience of buying a suspicious package of AA batteries and...nothing else.

The Triphoria has a couple of things going for it. First, it's waterproof. Second, the materials--medical grade plastic and silicone tips--are first rate. The tips are designed for external, clitoral stimulation and the toy, while it could be inserted, doesn't scream "pretend I'm a dick," which is a good soft landing for new vibrator users who are often intimidated by something too phallic.

But the toy isn't perfect. For a vibe with just one battery the Triphoria is surprisingly buzzy but not as much as, say, the Silver Bullet which has two. Second, the bulb that you're supposed to hold onto is good for the two slanted silicone tips, which are better when applied to the clit/vulva at an angle, but the pocket rocket-type tip (on the vibe in the picture above) needs to go head-on and it's kind of difficult to hold it that way.

At $47, the Triphoria is an indulgent My First Vibrator. But probably a great choice for, say, your mom or aunt or someone who might be grossed out by something too penis-like or unfeminine. The Triphoria, which comes in a pretty black and purple satin bag, has "You deserve this" written all over it. Just make sure to buy her an extra pack of batteries.

The bad news: if you order from Trojan's website,
TROJAN® VIBRATIONS products are available in the United States except for AL,GA, KS, LA, MS, TX and VA.
Bummer. But Babeland will send it anywhere.

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