Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Walgreens Encouraging Promiscuity Among Medicare Set

Not that anyone assumes anything ever said on "Fox 'n Friends" is true, but the hilarious claim that women could get mammograms and Pap smears at their local Walgreens (what, not CVS?) went a little bit too far. Walgreens this afternoon released a statement gently correcting the fucktards at Fox. Stephen Colbert wasn't so generous.

What many Walgreens, including the one right down the street from my house, do offer is a small array of routine vaccinations, including flu shots and the shingles vaccine, Zostavax. The thing is, shingles is herpes zoster, and the vaccine was, until March 11 of this year, approved only for people 60 and over. Now the FDA has extended that to people 50 and up.

Is this what we really need to be doing, America? Providing a vaccine that will encourage promiscuity in people over the age of 50, which no one wants to think about? Considering that people over the age of 50 have the lowest rates of condom use of anyone in America, should we really be reducing the consequences of sex by offering a STD vaccine to these obviously irresponsible horny silver foxes?

I have a solution to your rampant STD problem, Medicare recipients: it's called Pants. Teenagers have recently figured out how to keep them on, and failing that, they use condoms more than any other age group. Get it together, gramps.

Oh, you mean herpes zoster isn't a STD after all? Fuck. Don't tell Fox 'n Friends.

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1 comment:

  1. Hey, cut us some slack :-) We were the first post-pill generation, so as long as you were with a nice clean college girl, it all seemed good and natural.

    Not making excuses, just explaining a mindset.