Friday, December 24, 2010

Marie Claire Interviews Woman Who Knows Everything About Closeted Gay Men

Oh here we go. Marie Claire is featuring an interview with Kiri Blakeley, a writer whose nine year engagement ended when her fiance confessed he was gay. Fortunately, this allowed Kiri Blakeley to write a memoir of her experience which will surely sell hundreds of copies to women terrified that their sensitive man-toy is also hiding a secret desire for other men.

This being Marie Claire, the interview skews to the overly general and stereotypical:
  • This was a man who never even let me touch his butt! (and all gay dudes are into anal, obv)
  • He also grew a beard and refused to shave it. (have you ever seen the Village People? ever?)
  • The weird thing is, Aaron is a very masculine guy with a deep voice. (weird!)
  • He plays soccer, wears loose clothing, doesn't use loads of hair gel, and never reeks of Axe body spray. (she's confusing being gay with being a cast member on Jersey Shore)
  • There's no postcoital chatting. Gay men get right to the point. (because men don't have feelings)
So what happened next?
I became addicted to sex. It gave me a dopamine rush in the same way that drugs and alcohol affect your brain. Soon, I couldn't just sit home on a Sunday night and read. I would claw my skin in physical withdrawal. The only solution was to get dressed and go to a bar to find a guy.
If this isn't further evidence that homosexuality is chipping away at the foundation of our society, I don't know what is! If she needs support she might consider reaching out to Rick Perry's wife, First Lady of Texas Anita Perry, who's got years of experience being married to an allegedly secretly gay guy. But as I've always said, better to break up with a gay boyfriend than be married to a gay husband. Guess that's why I'm not promoting a memoir.


  1. I felt sorry for her, but you're right. You'd think getting to know a gay man so intimately would disabuse her of these stereotypes. I just wonder where they're from that he felt he had to be so deep in the closet for so long.

  2. Hi Julie and Amanda-
    Thanks for writing about my book and the MC piece. I want to clear up a couple of things. One, the stuff I say about Aaron not "reeking of Axe body spray" and not using hair gel, etc. is said tongue in cheek. Obviously, I realize that not all gay men (or even a majority) come across like Clay Aiken. Hell, I lived with one. But tongue in cheek doesn't exactly come across in MC. Also, MC asks questions like, "Was Aaron masculine?" I say "yes," and this gets turned into "The weird thing is, Aaron was masculine..." So you see where I'm going with this. This is not the New Yorker. They were doing me a huge favor by publicizing my book (after all, you found out about it this way) and I wasn't going to start parsing and arguing every little thing, even if I felt it had vastly simplified what I said-- actually even going so far as to make me sound like a homophobic rube. I can start making demands when I'm on the NYT best seller list, you know? So pick up my book and read it, and maybe you will get a different idea of what I say about the matter. Thanks very much, Kiri

  3. If you go to and watch my video of my reading the first chapter of CTS, you will get a better idea of how I was subverting gay stereotypes as black humor (and from absolute shock). Also, of course, you can read the book. Nor did I become "addicted to sex" but that's another story. Thanks!

  4. hi kiri, thanks for your comments. i totally understand MC not being interested in, say, a serious treatment of what it's like to be engaged to/married to a closeted man and them not really letting the nuance show through. but i took the quote about being 'addicted to sex' directly from the MC interview--considering how much chatter is out there right now about sex addiction (paging dr. drew...) why even make that comment if you don't mean it? it's not as though being addicted to sex is so out of the realm of possibility in contemporary discourse that no one would take that comment seriously. also, i could imagine in that situation that deciding to aggressively go after sex is a totally understandable way to react. if you want to send me a review copy i'd be happy to review it in a more serious way than MC!

  5. There was a line in my book that said, "For the first time, I could understand how people developed sex addictions." That was taken and turned into "I became a sex addict" in MC. This was fact checked with me and I let it go, because honestly, is anyone going to write about the former? or discuss it? would you have even mentioned it? Doubtful. I've been a journalist for over 10 years. I know what mag's need to get eyeballs. You come across a certain way until people are talking about you, and then you try and get them to understand something more artful and subtle, if you can. Pick up my book and I'd love to hear your thoughts on it! kb

  6. Oh send me your address at and will send you a copy!